Boys, Boys, Boys: Dating Chinese Guys Silent Agreement: The Four Unwritten Rules of Courtship in China Foreigner Vs Chinese Tradition: Relationship Roles in a Chinese Family Happy Endings in China Not Just for Men Walk down any street or into any bar and you will see the oh-so familiar sight of foreign men with Chinese girls.
So rare, in fact, that Jocelyn Eikenburg, an American who has been married to a Chinese man for several years, has written a successful blog, and has even been interviewed by the BBC about this ‘phenomenon’.In the West, dating is seen as something you can do casually (at least in the beginning) and will only result in long term commitment or marriage if those feelings develop.It’s perfectly acceptable to date someone without the end goal being marriage.Whereas in China, marriage is an inevitability; it’s not a questions of if, but when, so people are often looking for something stable.First of all, it’s important to think about the reasons why the Western woman/ Chinese man pairing is rarer.There are several reasons why this is; one of them could be the way in which Chinese men, all Asian men for that matter, are portrayed in Western culture.
The emasculation of the Asian male is a well documented trope of Western cinema where Asian men are either portrayed as celibate, pure, action heroes, or one dimensional token minorities.
The idea of Asian men as sexual beings doesn’t actually exist in the Western public consciousness and this could undoubtedly have an effect on the way Western women view men in China.
Another reason is the relative conservatism of Chinese relationships; Gender roles in Chinese relationships are so clearly defined that even lesbian couples frequently divide themselves in to masculine and feminine counterparts, T (for tomboy), and P (for princess).
Whilst this also exists in the occidental world, deviation from this is much less common over here.
But all this aside, what are relationships actually like for people who take the plunge and date Chinese men? With a Chinese man, 96 percent of the time the answer is going to be yes.
It’s important to remember that ideas about dating are totally different in China.