Rules for dating someone new

25-Oct-2015 08:18

But let's all admit what a risk it is to start falling in love!

The stakes feel so high because you can end up attaching pretty quickly to someone new, even though you don't know that person well enough to know if it's truly safe to trust him or her.Though the urge may be strong to spend all your time with your new love interest and jump in the sack to seal the deal and - finally - alleviate your intense curiosity, we're supposed to be adults now, or highly developed individuals that come fully loaded with frontal lobes that allow us to plan and make good decisions.The real goal becomes slowing down in the midst of the sexual-emotional storm of new love to gather our thoughts and proceed with a healthy caution.Below, I will give you a few pieces of advice to help you control your anxiety and start a new relationship more cautiously.This past weekend, I ran into a friend at a restaurant who has just begun dating someone new.My friend shared with me later just how anxiety-provoking this new relationship has become.

After a few weeks, they've officially entered that awkward phase where uncertainty is king, and I'm sure each member of the couple is spending a great deal of time talking about the relationship with their respective friends. The beginning of a new relationship is scary because you don't really know the person you're dating, so you can't be sure what you're going to get.

In other words, you're investing in a relationship based purely on faith, or your hope that this new person will be good for you.

The reality is that the process of attaching happens much faster than the process of getting to know someone on a truly deep level.

If only we could slow our hearts down so that we could protect ourselves better from potential hurts, right?

But wait - I suddenly got so caught up in writing about new love that I almost forgot that we actually do have control over how quickly we attach to someone new.

Sure, hormones are at work and there is the undeniable thrill of the first touch or kiss with someone you're crazy attracted to, but that doesn't mean that we, in turn, have to carjack someone, head to Vegas, and get married in a cheesy chapel on the first night.